How do I forgive someone who deeply hurt me?

Forgiveness can feel extremely difficult when someone has caused deep emotional, physical, or spiritual pain. The Bible teaches that forgiveness is not denying wrongdoing or excusing abuse. Instead, forgiveness is a spiritual decision to release bitterness and entrust justice to God while seeking healing and restoration.

Why people ask this question

Serious betrayal, abuse, or broken trust can leave lasting wounds. Many believers struggle with whether forgiveness is possible or fair. Scripture acknowledges the seriousness of hurt while teaching that forgiveness is essential for spiritual freedom and healing.

The Bible teaches that Christians are called to forgive because God forgave them

Ephesians 4:31–32 (KJV)

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Colossians 3:13 (KJV)

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

These passages teach that forgiveness is rooted in remembering how completely God forgives believers through Christ.

The Bible teaches that forgiveness releases personal bitterness

Hebrews 12:15 (KJV)

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

Bitterness can cause spiritual and emotional damage. Forgiveness allows healing to begin and prevents bitterness from controlling a person’s life.

Forgiveness does not mean ignoring justice or continuing harmful relationships

Romans 12:19 (KJV)

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Scripture teaches believers to release personal revenge and trust God with justice. Forgiveness does not require remaining in unsafe or abusive situations.

Forgiveness is often a process that requires God’s help

Matthew 18:21–22 (KJV)

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Luke 6:27–28 (KJV)

But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.

Forgiveness is sometimes repeated and requires spiritual strength. Prayer often plays a central role in releasing pain and developing compassion.

Key word study (Strong’s Definitions)

Forgive (Greek: ἀφίημι)

Strong’s G863 — aphiēmi: To release, let go, or cancel a debt.

Bitterness (Greek: πικρία)

Strong’s G4088 — pikria: Deep resentment, sharp emotional pain, or hostility.

What this means

Forgiveness releases bitterness but does not deny wrongdoing.
Christians forgive because they have been forgiven by God.
Forgiveness does not require trusting someone who remains unsafe.
Forgiveness is often a gradual process requiring prayer and healing.
God ultimately handles justice and accountability.

Gospel connection

Romans 5:8 (KJV)

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Matthew 6:14–15 (KJV)

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

The Gospel teaches that forgiveness flows from understanding God’s mercy through Jesus Christ. As believers receive grace, they learn to extend grace to others.